Damn, double damn and the devil be damned!!! Does anyone actually pay their AT&T bill online? Does anyone know how? Sheesh! AT&T doesn’t make it where you can just log in: ‘this is what you owe,’ ‘click this button and you’re done’ …’and good day.’ They’ve got all of this crap about linking accounts and using some AT&T email address that we don’t want or need …and their instructions are vague to say the least. They probably outsourced the whole thing. The phone company is bound and determined to make the customers wait in line or wander aimlessly through the website …They’re bound and determined to waste our time while they put a premium price on this experience: “and that will be $200.00 a month” with no “please,” “thank you” or kiss on the cheek. It now appears that it is going to be easier and less time consuming to drive to the bank and get some cash and then drive up to a Cash Connection to pay it. I hate AT&T ….Really, I do.
To quote the late, great William S. Burroughs: “Authority figures, deprived of the vampiric energy they suck off their constituents, are seen for what they are: dead empty masks manipulated by computers. And what is behind the computers? Remote control, of course. Don’t intend to be here when this shit-house goes up. Nothing here now but the recordings. Shut them off, they are as radioactive as an old joke.”
My phone company encounter this morning recalled the old movie, “The President’s Analyst” …a rather chic, trippy satire from 1967. It starred James Coburn, who plays the role of being the shrink for the POTUS. After a surrealistic series of misadventures he is brought into the presence of the head of The Phone Company played by Pat Harrington Jr. (‘Schneider’ from the 70s sitcom ‘One Day at a Time.’) It turns out that The Phone Company was behind the great conspiracy that the shrink had been subjected to.
“The President’s Analyst” was written and directed by Theodore J. Flicker who went on to make the TV series ‘Barney Miller.’ In the movie, Flicker made the head of the F.B.I. a ‘heavy.’ This apparently pissed J. Edgar Hoover off to no end. Within a couple of weeks of it’s premier, The President’s Analyst was abruptly pulled from the theaters with no explanation given. Theodore Flicker found himself unemployed and shunned by Hollywood. He lost his house. …So we have to wonder: did his satire reveal too much of the truth? Probably. Good satire usually does.
Postscript: As I was finishing up this post, my PHONE RANG. The caller ID said, “AT&T.” I took the call. It was a RECORDING telling me that my bill was now posted online and I could log in and look at it. I followed the instructions and it led me directly back into the same quagmire I had been in earlier. On the ‘linking accounts’ section it asked for my account number. I filled it in, along with the obligatory zip code. Of course it returned me to the page that said no such account exists …in spite of the fact that I was logged into their website with that account. It’s a very good thing that I find this to be the humorous inter play with the universe rather than suspecting that AT&T is deliberately trying to mess with my head. That really could lead some to serious acute paranoia….